Trepidation

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A few years ago I was sleeping and I dreamt of my grandmother and it was a happy dream and to be honest I can’t remember the specifics of the dream but then it turned sinister and I saw my grandmother in a casket. She whispered in my ears “they are killing me”. Everything suddenly turned black. This is where it gets very creepy. Someone whispered ‘trepidation’ into my ear and so I woke up because it felt so real as if someone was hovering over my bed. There was no one in the room but me. I felt such sadness so I quickly wrote the word down because I had never heard it before and went back to sleep. I asked my dad what it mean and he told me it was the fear of the unkwown. My favorite uncle had recently passed away and now his mother (my grandma) was in my dream. She passed away soon after my dream and devastation set in.

Anyways as I hear about the tragic events of flight #MH370 it reminds me of the thoughts I always have before my flight takes off, ‘did I live my life to the fullest?’ …
I have a huge trepidation with this game called life because the world as you know it can end tomorrow so I do whatever comes into my head without analyzing it. Jump on a plane to start a new adventure? why not? you could die tomorrow. or today. and so here is how I find myself at film school, in South Africa and having an amazing time because I can. I know this is where I am meant to be. Another notch to my adventures which have spanned from continent to continent. Everyone else can keep planning for when they retire at 65, I will live for the moment. We can’t control the future therefore we should live in the moment. What are your dreams? tomorrow might never come.

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